I have talked to many people going through hard times relationally. And 100% of the time, they start out telling me all the things the other person has done wrong. It’s interesting to listen to a person continue to point out what the other person is doing that causes a negative reaction in them. In other words, the other person is always the problem!
Really? The other person is the problem? Speaking from experience I know this to be false. Here’s the truth…. the only person you are in control of is YOU. You are not a victim; you are not at the whim of someone else. Furthermore, you also have a role in the breakdown of any relationship.
Let me give you an example: a woman’s estranged husband was making her so mad she didn’t know what to do. Something he did, and continued to do, made her so mad. But when I pointed out that the bigger issue she should concentrate on is WHY did his action make her so mad, what was it about him or his action that caused such anger in HER, she just gave me a blank (and perhaps somewhat angry) stare. It took me a while to get her to see that no one has the power to dictate how we feel. That responsibility lies squarely with us. I then encouraged her to lie before the Lord and honestly ask Him to reveal the source of her anger. She did lay before the Lord and God did reveal something hidden deep within her. Through that experience the woman received a peace over her emotions and a deep healing over her heart.
You see, the Lord has your best intentions in mind all the time. So, the next time you want to talk about what someone else is doing that is causing you to react a certain way, I encourage you to do what the woman in this example did. Lay yourself before the Lord and ask Him to reveal the truth of what is going on inside of YOU. God may reveal things you don’t like about yourself, but ultimately, you will receive peace and healing if you receive what He says!
Oh, by the way, the woman in the example was ME!